Achy Breaky Heart, Balinese Style

There are no white people in Indonesia. Actually, that's a lie. I saw 3. In a week. I can understand that North Sumatra isn't a huge tourist destination, but I expected to at least see a few white people in Jakarta. Walking around the big mall next to the hotel, people stared the whole time, and some guy outside even waved at me. Sometimes I just stare back because frankly I get a little tired of being stared at all day, but then the person will say something friendly to me so I feel bad. In Bali however there are plenty of tourists, as expected. There is also a Starbucks and a Krispy Kreme so I'm happy. Yesterday night at an Irish pub there was a Balinese cover band taking requests from their song list they handed out. I requested Achy Breaky Heart, since how often do you get to hear bad country music in an Irish pub in Indonesia?

I am now on Vietnam's No Fly list

I flew from Hanoi to Kuala Lumpur the other day, my first flight since getting into Singapore and I've acquired a lot of stuff since then. I had to repack things at the airport so that I only checked 15 kg even though everything else still went with me on the plane, I just had to take it as carry-on. I remembered to take the nail scissors I had in my purse out and put them into my checked bag, something I've forgotten to do many times before. After everything was rearranged (I think I had about 15 kilos in my carry-on bag) I went through security. They made me open my backpack and take out the knives. I had no idea what they were talking about at first, but then I rememberd I'd put a little bag of heavy things from my big backpack into my carry-on backpack which included a padlock, playing cards, batteries, and 2 sharp knives. I felt really dumb when the girl tried to tell me I wasn't allowed to have those on the plane, I tried to explain that it was an accident but either she didn't understand or just didn't believe me. I threw the knives out, then she said I had to give her the fork too. Luckily I was allowed to keep my spoon. Then she took my passport and wrote down the number in a book. Good thing I don't really want to go back to Vietnam, because probably I wouldn't be allowed in. A while later I got on the plane which was full of Vietnamese people going to Malaysia for jobs and who I'm sure had never been on a plane before. They kept trying to get up and go to the bathroom while the plane was taking off, and when the plane was landing they all covered their ears with their hands and leaned forward as if the plane was crashing. The flight attendants kept yelling at them, so it was at least an entertaining flight.

Additionally, Vietnam is weird because...

13. I went to the same bakery two days in a row. The first day, I bought a croissant for 6000 dong. The second day the croissants were miniature sized but still the same price. I said they were twice as big the day before so they should be half price today, but their response was, "They're made by children."

Vietnam is also weird because...

9. I ordered chocolate ice cream yesterday at a restaurant and what I got was clearly a broken up ice cream bar in a drinking glass. At least it was still ice cream.

10. You can get your ears cleaned at the hairdresser. Isn't this something that you'd rather just do yourself?

11. People wear surgical masks everywhere. Mostly on motorbikes, which I guess I understand, but then they don't take them off later and will walk around everywhere with them on.

12. I went on a boat trip for the day that included swimming and going to a beach, and most of the Vietnamese women that came wore long pants and high heels.

Vietnam is weird because...

1. Walking down the street one evening I heard loud music, which turned out to be from two old men sitting in their underwear in front of their tv singing karaoke

2. They think that "You buy something.(?)" is an appropriate sales pitch

3. I was accosted by an old woman and forced to speak English

4. They put things on the menu but don't know what they are if you try to order them

5. I just electrocuted myself trying to turn on the light in my hotel room

6. They think after you say no to buying something from them, if they ask where you're from you might just change your mind. No, it doesn't matter where I'm from, I still don't want to buy your Mentos

7. They look at you funny if you actually pat the dogs

8. Some of the women wear outfits that look like pyjamas

Rules of Driving in Cambodia and Vietnam

1. The most important part of your car/motorbike to maintain is the horn. It must always be functioning properly.

2. While driving, keep one hand free for the horn at all times.

3. If you have not used the horn in the previous minute or so, honk just to make sure it is still working.

4. When approaching one of the very infrequent stoplights, if red, consider stopping.

5. Driving on the right hand side is suggested. If you aren't driving far, or don't feel inclined for any reason to stay on the right, use the left.

6. When approaching an intersection with no stop sign or stoplight (almost all intersections), consider slowing to make sure there is no one coming from the other direction, or just keep your hand on the horn and drive on through.

7. Consider upgrading your horn to a louder model that will better alert all people within 4 blocks that you are currently driving and possess a horn.

Fish that bite and tigers that don't

Before leaving Thailand I spent a few days in Kanchanaburi (which I still cannot pronounce correctly - they put the emphasis on different syllables than we would in English, so I would say Kan - CHAN - a - bu - ri, but I think they say Kan - chan - A - bu - ri, and they don't understand if you say it with the wrong emphasis either). This is the place where the bridge over the river Kwai, also known as the death railway is, but there are other nice things to see there too. I went to the bridge and a museum about the construction of it, and another day I took a trip to a waterfall and a place called the Tiger Temple. Thailand has many waterfalls so saying as it was the last day I was going to be in the country I figured I had to visit one. It had 7 tiers and you were allowed to swim in the pools between some of them. There was another girl on the tour that I'd met a few weeks back diving on Ko Tao, and we just hung out in one of the pools because it was nice and cool in there and very hot outside. The only problem was there were fish that bit in the water. Upon first getting in, it was very weird and I wasn't sure I could stay in. They were pretty small and the bites didn't hurt, it was just startling, and they'd come one after the other and keep biting. I found that if I kept moving they didn't bother me as much so I got in for a swim. The tiger temple just used to be a regular Buddhist temple but some villagers found an injured baby tiger and didn't know what to do with it so they gave it to the monks who took care of it. Other people started bringing tigers there too and then they had babies and now there are lots of tigers, making it the tiger temple. The monks say they've trained the tigers to be very gentle, but I think they might just be drugged since they hardly noticed when people came up to them. It was a pretty weird place, for part of the day they take most of the tigers to one area and you can get your picture taken with them. I thought they'd just take your picture with one tiger, but they brought you around to about 5 of them to get a picture with each.

The bridge over the river Kwai

The waterfall where we swam

Swimming in the waterfall

With one tiger

With another tiger